Wanted
by iTarundoru
Summary: Fuji can't help but go to Tezuka, just so he knows that he's wanted. Companion fic to Weak but can be read seperately.


Alright so this is a companion fic for my story Weak since there were people wanting to know more details. However, I'm fairly sure it can be read without any knowledge of my other story without you getting too confused.  
I'm off to Spain tomorrow so I wanted to get this done and posted before I forgot, apologies for any mistakes.

Pointless angst but with a happy (sort of? '-.-) ending.

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Fuji Syuusuke was lucky. He was classed as a genius in tennis, his looks were the object of many female's attention and the envy of most boys' and his soft, lyrical voice was enough to have people hanging off his every word.

Back in his middle school and high school days an unofficial fan club had even been set up for him, the group of girls coming along to the matches and screaming their adoration (when they were not swooning over him that is).

Of course most of the players on the team had a select group of people that favoured them more than the rest and Fuji didn't benefit from the attention as much as the flexible redhead on the team did but he couldn't honestly say he didn't enjoy the attention.

This kind of attention continued through the years, people commenting on what a kind, polite boy he was and that if he tried he would be able to get anything he wanted.

That's where they were wrong.

Despite being a genius, despite having people singing his praises left and right, he was unable to get the _one_ thing he had truly wanted.

It had started of with nothing more than a little crush, a quickening in his heartbeat whenever he saw the boy. Although he was younger than them he never let that be an excuse, he trained just as hard as them and was able to keep up with them when other's his age had long since given up.

It was this strength that attracted Fuji and before he knew it his crush had turned into a desire, a desire to get closer to the boy and know what it was that made him so mentally strong.

Not once did it cross his mind that he might not feel the same. The idea was foolish to Fuji, he'd grown up with people constantly admiring him and so the concept that there might be someone in the world who would reject him was alien.

The reality check came one cold winter day. Fuji had had enough of waiting around and, without warning, had bent to kiss the boy. He had expected a moment of shock before his affections were returned but what he had not counted on was having himself stopped as the other tilted his head to the side with a muttered 'mada mada dane'.

Fuji had gripped onto the boy's arms so tightly he had seen him wince in pain, eyes blazing as he had demanded to know _why_. Why didn't he feel the same way? He was exactly what people wanted.

"Yes, but you're not what _I _want."

--

That had been the first time Fuji had gone to Tezuka.

He knew how the former captain looked at him, he knew how the other felt about him, he knew how wrong this was and he knew how terrible of a person he was for doing this but that didn't stop him.

He needed.. no, craved.. the feeling that someone wanted him.

Tezuka hadn't stopped him. His touches were feather light and caring, his breath warm against Fuji's skin, and for the briefest of moments Fuji had been able to forget the reason why he had come here in the first place.

This did not last long, however, and when Fuji's mind went into overdrive and the wrong name had slipped past his lips there was no mistaking the pain in Tezuka's eyes.

Yet still Tezuka did not push him away.

All too soon it had become a routine; a bitter, ugly routine built on animalistic desires and false hopes but one that Fuji found near impossible to break.

Every time he saw the one he had loved in the arms of another his heart gave a painful squeeze and every time he went to Tezuka because Tezuka did not say no.

--

It became a habit of Fuji's to wake up before the sun had risen, before Tezuka woke up, so that he could sneak away without having to face Tezuka and the guilt he always felt after these encounters.

One day though he had just swung his legs over the side of the bed, savouring the chill of the bedroom floor as it helped to wake up him, when he felt eyes boring into the naked skin of his back.

"You're awake?" He questioned lightly.

"Yes."

There was a moment of silence where neither of them moved, Fuji fighting the urge to leave and Tezuka looking as though he would make no effort to stop him should he decide to.

"Why do you let this happen?" Fuji spoke after a moment, hands clenching in his lap and eyes resolutely staring downwards at the floor. He already knew the reason why he himself continued to keep up this charade, he was a weak willed individual who cared too much about the opinion of one person, but it was strange how the stoic, unshakeable Tezuka did not try to put a distance between them.

"I'm waiting for you to realise that he is not the only one that matters."

Fuji looked around in surprise, his gaze meeting hazel eyes that reflected true sincerity and which shone with all kinds of emotions that the blank face did not betray.

For the first time Fuji really _saw_ Tezuka. As an actual human being and not just a substitute for the one he had never really had. Tezuka had been there, giving unconditionally, while Fuji had been so wrapped up in the opinion of one person he had failed to notice.

"...thank you, Tezuka."

Maybe, just maybe, he could move on.

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Reviews would be lovely and something to look forward to when I return.


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